Funny Quotes by Famous People for Friends, Love, Girls & Family

Funny Quotes by Famous People for Friends, Love, Girls & Family

Funny quotes for friends.

๐Ÿ˜„Experience is what you have ๐Ÿ‘‰ after you've forgotten her name. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Milton Berle 
๐Ÿ˜„You can lead a man to Congress, ๐Ÿ‘‰but you can't make him think. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Milton Berle
๐Ÿ˜„I found there was only one way to๐Ÿ‘‰ look thin: hang out with fat people. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Rodney Dangerfield
๐Ÿ˜„I buy expensive suits. They just look๐Ÿ‘‰ cheap on me. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Warren Buffett
๐Ÿ˜„Why do they call it rush hour when๐Ÿ‘‰ nothing moves? ๐Ÿ”ฐ Robin Williams

Funny quotes for girls.

๐Ÿ˜„If it's the Psychic Network why do ๐Ÿ‘‰they need a phone number? ๐Ÿ”ฐ Robin Williams
๐Ÿ˜„Say what you will about the ten commandments, ๐Ÿ‘‰you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ๐Ÿ”ฐ H. L. Mencken
๐Ÿ˜„It is even harder for the average ape to believe that๐Ÿ‘‰ he has descended from man. ๐Ÿ”ฐ H. L. Mencken
๐Ÿ˜„I wear a necklace, cause I ๐Ÿ‘‰ wanna know when I'm upside down. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Mitch Hedberg
๐Ÿ˜„Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who๐Ÿ‘‰ would want to live in an institution? ๐Ÿ”ฐ H. L. Mencken

Funny quotes about life.

๐Ÿ˜„My fake plants died because I ๐Ÿ‘‰did not pretend to water them. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Mitch Hedberg
Anyone who says he ๐Ÿ‘‰ can see through women is missing a lot. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Groucho Marx
๐Ÿ˜„A child of five would understand this. ๐Ÿ‘‰Send someone to fetch a child of five. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Groucho Marx
๐Ÿ˜„Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, ๐Ÿ‘‰your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ๐Ÿ”ฐ George Carlin
๐Ÿ˜„Electricity is really just organized lightning. ๐Ÿ”ฐ George Carlin
๐Ÿ˜„May the forces of evil ๐Ÿ‘‰become confused on the way to your house. ๐Ÿ”ฐ George Carlin

Funny quotes by famous people.

๐Ÿ˜„I never expected to see the day ๐Ÿ‘‰when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Will Rogers
๐Ÿ˜„I am not a member of any organized ๐Ÿ‘‰political party. I am a Democrat. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Will Rogers
๐Ÿ˜„A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ๐Ÿ”ฐ George Bernard Shaw
๐Ÿ˜„One picture is worth 1,000 denials. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Ronald Reagan
๐Ÿ˜„Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Ronald Reagan
๐Ÿ˜„It takes considerable knowledge just๐Ÿ‘‰ to realize the extent of your own ignorance. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Thomas Sowell

Funny quotes dedicated to friends.

๐Ÿ˜„I can resist everything ๐Ÿ‘‰except temptation. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Oscar Wilde
๐Ÿ˜„If I were two-faced, would๐Ÿ‘‰ I be wearing this one? ๐Ÿ”ฐ Abraham Lincoln
๐Ÿ˜„Wine is constant proof that ๐Ÿ‘‰God loves us and loves to๐Ÿ‘‰ see us happy. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Benjamin Franklin
๐Ÿ˜„If I knew for a certainty that a ๐Ÿ‘‰man was coming to my house with the ๐Ÿ‘‰conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Henry David Thoreau
๐Ÿ˜„The reports of my๐Ÿ‘‰ death have been greatly exaggerated. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Mark Twain

Funny quotes for a best friend birthday.

๐Ÿ˜„How long was I in the๐Ÿ‘‰ army? Five-foot eleven. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Spike Milligan
๐Ÿ˜„Food is an important ๐Ÿ‘‰ part of a balanced diet. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Fran Lebowitz
๐Ÿ˜„The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his ๐Ÿ‘‰ income tax return. It's the zero ๐Ÿ‘‰ adjust on his bathroom scale. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Arthur C. Clarke
๐Ÿ˜„All right everyone, line up alphabetically ๐Ÿ‘‰ according to your height. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Casey Stengel
๐Ÿ˜„I always wanted to be somebody,๐Ÿ‘‰ but now I realize I should have been more specific. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Lily Tomlin
๐Ÿ˜„When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Henny Youngman
๐Ÿ˜„I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Rodney Dangerfield
๐Ÿ˜„If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Robin Williams
๐Ÿ˜„If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Abraham Lincoln
๐Ÿ˜„Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Mae West

Funny quotes Goodreads. 

๐Ÿ˜„Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. ๐Ÿ”ฐ P. G. Wodehouse
๐Ÿ˜„I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Walt Whitman
๐Ÿ˜„If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Theodore Roosevelt
๐Ÿ˜„Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Mark Twain
๐Ÿ˜„I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Winston Churchill
๐Ÿ˜„When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. ๐Ÿ”ฐ Albert Einstein